Confidence, just not arrogance

By Kerri Rehak

What are the traits you find attractive in a potential partner? A sense of humor to match mine. Stability and ambitions. Confidence. Oh, but above all else, confidence without arrogance. Confidence is sexy, arrogance is not.

I can’t believe he closed the deal on that. She is way out of his league.

I never go after anything I don’t think I can get because I know I can get anything I want.”

Oh, really? That’s about the time you lost what you thought you had, buddy. As I told you, your confidence is sexy. Your arrogance is not, do not let it become arrogance.

What makes the difference? It’s all in how you treat and compare yourself to others. I am confident. I believe I am attractive. I believe I have a good head on my shoulders. I believe I have a good heart… when I’m not intentionally being an asshole. I have fought abuse. I fight addiction. I fight mental illness. I have no place to judge anyone else. Do you know who I do judge? Those who have let their confidence become arrogance. Those that judge all of the rest of us because they truly believe they are above the rest of us.
When you are with some with confidence, they encourage you. They are not threatened by your successes.

They rise you up, compliment you, and want to see you succeed. They will love you and be proud of you and your accomplishments.

Arrogance. It is controlled. When you are with an arrogant person they will only bring you down, for they need to keep their superiority. An arrogant person needs their ego stroked. They will bring you down and not think twice about it.

Arrogance is the bully in the hallway bringing others down to make themselves seem better.

Arrogance is not wanting to see anyone else succeed because you believe only you deserve to. An arrogant person will be threatened by your confidence because they need to be the Alpha, they will try to destroy your confidence.

I spent nine years in an emotionally abusive relationship. The first thing that attracted me to him was his confidence. Now if I had to describe him in one word? Arrogant.

So, one more time for those of you in the back:

Your confidence is sexy, your arrogance is not.


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